The Human Manifesto

Spring break is almost a day away!! Hu–fucking–ray!!! Okay, that’s a bit of the salter side of me, but I’m really glad, as the pressure was really getting to me. As it was to everyone. Truth be told, no wonder Americans are fat, and dealing with so many health problems. We work these long stretches of work and then take two days or two weeks of rest. It’s  insane!! My biggest problem with it is that unless one is self-employed there’s no wiggle room for individual needs which is why I think so many problems exist in today’s society. I know how I work well, and how I don’t. And as I get older, I realize more and more if I’m going to have a life which supports me, then I’m going to have to create situations where I work positively and not against my own grain.

This past week really drove that home for me as I was having health problems for the first time. In December, I had a check up and was told of the existing problem, but of course, since I didn’t have any of the more serious symptoms of the issue, I blew it off somewhat.  So when the symptoms arose, I felt really isolated.  I’m 36 and about 10 to 15 lbs above what I probably should be. But I’m thin, so I take that for granted. What a false sense of security to have.  So, now I’m faced with having to educate myself on what I can do to lower the impact of future symptoms. And it hit me as I write this entry, in fact I’m a bit mad, how my doctor didn’t really explain much to me about my condition. Perhaps she was busy, perhaps she didn’t care, perhaps she is jaded because the condition I have is very common among black women and perhaps she thought, I wouldn’t do much to change the situation.

Whatever it was she thought, I think, I am going to have to educate myself and be accountable as well as responsible for my wellbeing. Much like one’s own happiness.

The key to having it, comes from within.

I’ve been wanting to log this thought for quite some time.

As a child, I was bussed to school. For an hour, my bus would wind through several of Chicago’s South Side black neighborhoods. I never minded the ride, as I enjoyed the architecture that changed as steady progressed toward our destination. In Spring, the morning sun would illuminate the characteristic red brick on rows of bungalows, making it seem like I was riding through Edward Hopper’s “Sunday”. All this changed when the bus would round the corner near 78th and Marshfield.

Each morning a man would stand out in front of his home, with Bible in hand, shouting verses. To a group of mischievous and restless school kids, we saw this as an opportunity to impress each other. The first time we happened on this man, we shouted, “Amen” and “Hallelujah” “Praise Jesus” and fell back into our seats laughing at the small reaction we got. By the third time, several of us tried to come up with tricker devices to use to deter the man from his morning sermon.

“The path of the righteous is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men,” the man would shout.

“You moma is so ugly that gorillas think she’s a queen!” shouted one boy. We would fall back into our seats, hysterical with laughter.

I recently thought about that man and wondered what brought him to such a public display of prayer. What was he praying for? Had his life been so beset with problems that he was moved by the spirit to pray publicly as a form of redemption? Or could this be his testimony of how the Lord works?

I’ll never know. By the end of third grade, the man was no longer praying outdoors for our consumption.

As I think about that period of time, our shouting could have been an encouragement to him, a test to his faith or willingness to stand apart for what he requested of God or believed in. I’ve been struggling for years with this whole concept of individuality and group. And listening to spiritual tape, it clicked for me how having it does not necessarily mean that it’s manifestation from one’s being as I had previously thought .