Just Do it…

Just do it…..

I’m doing everything but what should be doing today, watching “Family Guy”, playin’ spades on Yahoo, etc. I have a shit load of laundry to do, plus packing because I’m moving in to my great new apartment. This will be my 11th move since 1997. You think I would be adapt at such a process. I always looked at my future homes as places that would be the agent of change in my life.

Since I lost my mother in 1994, I have been trying to create an upswing in my life. I have always looked at my apartments as the hope that will spring eternal. So, I always have these high hopes of “Oh this is the place where I will be able to attract a boyfriend, loads of friends to come over, dinner parties, etc.” the place where all my dreams/fabulous life will begin to manifest. And up to this date, to my perception, none of that has occurred. With each apartment, I have always spent a load of money on furnishing it, doing feng shui, blessing with Indian Sages, Tibetan bells and salts left in the corners, you name it, I may have done it, all in the name of changing my reality. And in the end, sometimes I have wasted a lot of money, or just gone overboard. I have been very lucky in being able to make so many moves, especially when I didn’t know how it would occur. Yet, I can look back I see, that each opportunity was me simply trying to gain approval of others. Seeing all that I realize that money hasn’t been a tool for me to use, a tool to enable me to manifest my dreams, but more like many of my possessions are a results emotional buying with the emphasis of it will finally make me a person worthy of love.

Seeing this has brought enough clarity to me to say that this apartment is a place to rest, no need to run myself ragged, running around town trying to buy “that right” thing and attempt to understand the concept that I am the source of any manifestation in my life.

The great Ikea couch is just end result.


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This entry was posted on May 16, 2004 by in Uncategorized.
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