MANIFESTING SINCE FEBRUARY 27 AT 1:38 P.M.
I didn’t go out today. In fact, I stayed in bed. I tried to get out of bed. But blame it on my new mattress, it’s soo dammed comfortable. I guess, I never really made the effort because where was I going to go? Being that I have no friends to hang out with and call, I just didn’t feel like scooting around Taipei looking for something to do. And you can only study so much. Go to the mall? Oh, I have shopped enough, and spent more money than I should and care to any more. The interesting thing is that I do pray, every day to make friends. I have been praying that same prayer since I was a kid. I have had luck but it never runs long. I have been really praying for friends since I have moved out on my own. I noticed then how much alone and isolated I am. I have gone the way of volunteering and joining groups to make friends, but it seems that along the way, either I have failed at some social manners or just didn’t make the connection. Occationally, I feel suicidal cause I think what’s the point in living if you have no one to share it with. I am planning on getting a dog, but dogs can’t understand the excitement of seeing a great movie. Or go to dinner with ya. Let alone cook you a nice one.
During one of my prayer sessions, I got the feeling to read Psalms 27. At the end it says “Wait patienly on the Lord/Be brave and courageous/Yes, wait patiently on the Lord.” I guess that asking when isn’t waiting patienly, but I would like enjoy my youth…….