I’m not a prostitute but I can give you want you want…

Oh funny how life is. Since I have reached out and made a new friend online, thru I have had a blast. It’s fun to meet someone the same age who has the same interests and the same fundamentally beliefs. Yet, willing to not judge and take risks(safe ones 😉 at that) and enjoy life to the fullest.

The last two weekends, I have been out and about in the clubs of Taipei. I never really cared for nightclubs, solely for the fact that I judged the whole thing thru the eyes of someone else. But this time, I went and let my hair down. I danced, drank(oh boy) and grabbed a few arses. It was all in good fun until the inevitable. The hit on for the ‘one night stand’. Now in my previous posts, I have complained of my lack of ‘attention’. But here I go out, and bam!! It’s raining sex. And I turned it down. There’s something so unattractive about drunk sex. You know it’s going to be over in 2 mins and also there’s the, well the over in 2 mins part.

Tonight I went back out tonight, after a horrendous week, part for one day of adventure of sorts and as I am leaving Luxy, a handsome Japanese man starts to talk to us. My friend jokingly, tells asks him if he wants to go home with me for the night. He agrees. I turned it down. Not because of the fear of AIDS or other STDS, but how unattractive it is to know that here is a man, seeking a normal outlet for a normal expression but knowing that he has someone special waiting for him and trusting that he will recipocate that trust. In the bible it says that a husband and his wife are to desire one another, and it’s their duty to fulfill that desire. But what happens when that desire is gone?

It’s a common thing in Asia for men to cheat. It’s almost seems like the concept of cheating is a rite of passage here. I have come across so many ads on internet dating sites from men who are “seeking discreet relationships” because they are already married. And I have even had a married man seek to have an affair with me because the lack of sex in his marriage. And in the age of AIDS, it doesn’t seem like it’s going to curtail.

While men and women cheat all over the world, I can’t still get over why it boggles my mind here in Asia. It’s a concept that I view with a new pair of puritan eyes.

I have had many discussions about this with my language exchange partner who is about as silent on the subject as authentic Catholic nun. This form of sexual expression leaves me wondering, what is sacrilege in a marriage or any relationship for that matter. I wonder, do Asian men have higher sexual drives than others or is this their form of masculine expression? And why aren’t their wives doing more about it?
When I visited my friend in May, we had a huge arguments about cheating. I told her that if I should marry I expected it to happen. Oh, did she hit the fan. What she didn’t know, nor allow me to share, in her moment of ire, was that should I marry an Asian man, it’s a part of the deal that chances of him cheating on me are higher. She felt insulted that I would think so little of myself and would find myself with a partner who would violate the marriage vows. But as I have gotten older and perhaps a little wiser, I have learned that you can’t make someone accountable for their actions. You will never know what life will throw you. I could wish and hope and believe that I will marry a good man, but we can never know the future nor can we control someone’s desires.
All of this sexual expression runs against the frain of my Catholic upbringing, which I found has ladled me with more guilt than closeness to God. It occurs to me that sex is used in the West as another form of ‘bondage'(no pun intended) to control and possess others. If that is the case, then we have one hell of a revolution on our hands……

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This entry was posted on September 24, 2004 by in Uncategorized.
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